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K to da T

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[22 Sep 2005|11:25pm]
This was my horoscope and it fits wit the whole breakup which i got bak together but i cant anymore...

Your attention should be on clearing up business matters that have been going on too long. A new job may be what's required to help you get out of a rut. Change may be unnerving at first, but it will be good for you in the end.

im free [21 Sep 2005|09:59pm]
i didnt give in and i ended it with him. I just want to be treated good. And now i can find it. Im happy im free and im going to be fine. I never felt so good
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[25 Aug 2005|12:13am]
Yeah i started college this week. Im digging it more then High school though i still miss good ol' el cap i like just going a few times a week and all. Anyone liking it more?

[20 Aug 2005|01:10am]
all i gotta say is i love my Jon

Scary dreams [28 Jul 2005|05:52am]
I just woke up to having nightmares. I cant go back to sleep.

Besides that i have been having a kickass summer i must say. Everyday somethin eventful goes down. Im glad i spend every moment of it with my love. Im actually happy with a booy for once. Katie is actually in love and it feels good. Never doubt love.

Me, Mark, Sophia, Brandon and Jon went camping monday and tuesday at La Jolla Indian Reserve kinda by the Julian area. It was way fun. Brandon had a little tent we called the love nest, and we all went tubeing down the river (Jon got crunk and went down and hit about every rock imaginable in the river and went down a lil waterfall)made some smores, got crunk, smoked some hookah. It was just fun tiimes.

Jon and I have been chillin wit Shawn and his boo alot. It makes me happy.

I love life now, except when my dad is around he makes me want to do bad things. But other then that life is good.

Shayla and I have had fun this summer too. Goin up to L.A. a few tiimes. Good tiimes and interesting ones. I love our talks.

I miss people though.
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[19 Jul 2005|01:36pm]
Charcoal tastes bad...at least im still ALIVE , I GUESS
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[03 Jul 2005|12:23pm]
The last past few days were hard but im thankful i had good friends to hep me through it. Shayla giirl, you are and will always be my #1 playa. Thank you so much! Shelly is a good person for advice too and she's just really damn cool to talk to. And sophia thanks too you know what im going through. Im glad i had their support. Love ya guys!
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[15 Jun 2005|12:41pm]

me and the booCollapse )

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ever fallen in love with someone you shouldnt have fallen in love with? [15 Jun 2005|12:19pm]
I know everyone doubted us and i know people tell me he's a dousche bag. But we're making it work and it will work. Its better then it's ever been before and im happy.

[09 Jun 2005|09:46am]
I went to senior breakfast. I saw the old giirls and we talked took pictures together and laughed together. I felt whole....i felt like i should have been there the whole tiime. I said before i dont regret how much i have changed and how i went my seperate watys, but i do. They were the only ones that actually cared about me. Those were real friends and i gave it all away. I regret it so much. Shayla is the only one i trust or could ever trust of the path i went down. I miss my old friends, i traded them in and got friends that werent even real. I miss them so much.
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[19 May 2005|09:54pm]
Okay well hopefully this is my last entry on this bullshit that is in the past. Since people cant talk to me directly or act like things are cool but then talk shit on livejournal, just a few things to say....

Okay well your out making yourselfs seem like gods and i the demon child, look im not saying nothing was my fault but im not taking all the fault. And for you to call me names when you didnt bother asking me shit or anything and then going off with your assumptions and believe their actually reality well im sorry to say but its quite childish especially since it was to my friends and freakin livejournal! Like i was just not caring about it too much cos i just thought the whole thing was dumb and had to roll my eyes about it, but posting it on LJ that just got to me cos one of em acted cool with me then talked shit. Why cant people just say it to my face?? Like i dont get how you can be cool with someone and then like despise em? So im just doing the LJ thang cos it seems to be the thing to do though i will approach them soon after they vent and whatever it is they do. It really makes me mad that my friends gave Kim money and she didnt apperciate it at all, in fact they complained. Sorry they aint rich they gave her all they had not keeping any for themselves and its not like they can get money any time. I could talk massive amounts of shit but im not going to, whats the point, i still think deep down they're nice giirls and cool. After being friends for so long im not going to bash them for bashing me, im not going to forget the good and concentrate on the bad. Everything is just a lesson to be learned. people are going to come and go and your realize which peoples are true after even the roughest situations, keep to the ones that think about the positives before negatives of you. With that in mind im just so lucky to have shayla. We've been friends for a long ass time and rarely get in fights, more like arguements.its just fucking awesome to know you have someone you can talk to about everything and have so much similarities its the greatest. Someone thats concerned about you and help you out with any situation, she's the only real best friend i've had. I had best friends but she never judges me or thinks the worse of me and we speak our minds and dont get offended bcos we only try to help each other not diss on each other and we dont get bipolar. so im blessed and now Mary is like such a good friend like that. Its just wierd how me shay and mary click so well together. Idk we're just so easy going people and we all have so much in common. Cant wait til girls night yo.HAHA I love you guys!

yeah i just got off track about the whole prom night but its just cos i dont realy care so much. i mean if they were honestly my good friends like they said they wouldnt have thought badly of me at first. But whatever happens happens. I just want to be cool and not the awkward cool, to be really cool with each other before we graduate and may very well never see each other again. So it would be nice i mean i hate grudges friends have with each other. Its just sad i think especially when situations arent bad and can b worked out.

okay so hopefully thats my last post about that stupidness though it was mostly about my insight about friendships which isnt stupid. I'll probably write more cos i'll think of things to add about me view on the situation. Really there is just alot of differences but doesnt mean there arent similarities.
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Shiii son [18 May 2005|11:50pm]
So yeah umm really i didnt know who the hell was coming and shayla didnt even know who the hell was coming she was bombarded with phone calls. I straight up told Jarrod not to come cos he wanted even more peoples thurr and i said no but i guess he got to shays house. I wasnt making all these plans i was trying to do my prom, watch some men dressed liek girls serve me food and sing and then get my pictures done and dance. I didnt want brandons boo to come, but i guess brandon like had shay go all teh way to grossmont to get her. Poor shay's mommy. Really i just wanted mary and billy to go but i thought she was gonna get a ride with their cousin so they can bounce. But they got dropped off at prom. I was just gonna take em home after a bit but things seemed chill everyone was mingling with everyone else we got crunk i didnt think any thing of it at that point. It was everyones loudness not just theirs. But oh well i mean no one has to believe me i realy didnt know who i was going to see when i got down to meet with the shay other then brandons boo. Im going to get a room for just kim and her boo deb and her boo and ash i'll buy it all get the pina colada mudslides mikes hard lemonade twsists etc. If they dig the idea. If not s'all good. I mean im sorry for everything, i wasnt thinking oh how im i gonna get my friends mad this tiime. But i didnt kno what to do when they all were there i was just gonna take em home after awhile. If i didnt care i wouldnt have waited for deb or put all ash's stuff in my car and take her to her car and made sure she got out okay or cared to see if they were okay.
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[16 May 2005|08:34pm]

g g g-mont!!Collapse )

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[15 May 2005|08:18pm]
Well prom was nothing like i expected. But thats what i love about it. When you expect it to b something and it turns out way differently its better. Me and Brandon went to lips whih was hella fun im glad we went there it was like nothing i've ever been to. It was ,men dressed in women that were sassy bitches, what more can a giirl ask for? Then we went our hotel whih wasnt as niice as i expected and alot smaller. then we went to prom which was really nothing like i thought it would be. All those films with prom and u think it would be alot funner but it was still pretty chill i guess. Then we went back to the hotel and partied it up like gangstas. Everyone was a tad bit loud and i mean everyone not just certain peoples but most of them contributed and we would have gotten in trouble anyways. Yeah security came and kicked us out. But we were lucky they didnt arrest us and we were lucky i knew people that would let us in. It was fun us chilling in the other hotel and in the morning it was alot of fun too. I guess i resembled a crack whore this morning haha. It was actualluy the funnest i had in awhile. I mean i will remember this alot better then just another night of getting crunk. its better i think and i had my friends with me which all that really matters
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[11 May 2005|08:33pm]
wow, i went shopping with the most amazing person in the world....my mother!! I use to hate that woman...but now she is the coolest person i know. I can talk to her easily and she supports me more then anyone. My dad shot down my dream...my future career, my mom wants me to go sor it. She tells me nice things about me which i need to hear so i wont b depressed and think im useless. i cant describe how much i love my mom now. My friends and i use to b afraid of her but now she is our dancing diva hah. Now its my dad who is beastly. Grr that man is evil.

well just wanted to let people know i have one of the bestest mommies out there
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[11 May 2005|02:28pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

okay so for the last past month i lost 5 pounds doesnt really look liek it but it kind of makes me excited when i look at the scale....well today i just felt like eating the whole day...and i weighted myself and i think i gained 2 punds in a day? is that possible or am i trippin?
\why is it easier to gain then loose? jeeze

well summer is comin soon so that means lots of hikes on iron mountain...would peoples like to join me on hikes. Its lots of fun i swear, me and my bestest friends last year did it and it was rad. So Yeah you should hike with me!

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[07 May 2005|10:08pm]
i really want a gun...to shoot my fucking brains out
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[30 Apr 2005|02:06am]
things are never what they seem to be.

[20 Apr 2005|01:32pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

i hate it when i get pissed. When i get pissed i fucking get pissed...little things trigger it and i just think about other shit related to it.

I hate how people are so god damn fucking hypacritical. Cant have yer cake and eat it too!!

Other things that make me mad are people who cop other peoples styles. I just hate it. I hate how me and shay were ghetto and now its popular. I hate how my vision for prom was takin. I hate how some of my music i grew up on was takin. I hate fakes too. I hate how i dont like to share much things with people cos they take it and make it their own....i like sharing with shayla and mary and other people that actually are creative and do their own stuff too but others annoy me. And the fakes like act like they try too hard. Idk i wish anothony had his colony! i want to get away with Jon and a few others and not deal with what a mess this world is.

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[18 Apr 2005|07:14pm]
okay i really need to loose weigth even though eating is my hobby and im damn good at it too. So anyone i dont care who u are if you see me eating junk food take it from me and yell at me for it okay?? Prom, summer, weddings, etc. are comin up so i need everyones help. if anyone wants to jog or exercise together hit me up anyone. I dont care if i dont kno u very well i just dont want to b by myself heh. My goal is to b like debbie galea!!

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